Frank Botha
Vreesloos. Trots. Afrikaans.
Nella: ‘n serenade. Soortvan.
Aug 26th
Nella en ek beslis trou. Eventually. In sonde saambly is nogal lekker. Trou is nie perdekoop nie, sê die Krimpies. Damn right. Buite-egtelik lekker.
Ek sal ná hierdie inskrywing op Twitter met jou gesels.
LOL
Aug 26th
While riding one day, a cowboy meets an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and begins a conversation. “Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?” “Dog no talk,” replies the Indian. Unperturbed, the cowboy continues. “Hey dog, how’s it going?” he queries. “Doin’ alright,” shrugs the dog, looking up. The Indian looks shocked. “How does your owner treat you?” he continues. “Real good,” replies the pooch. “He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.” The Indian’s jaw drops in disbelief. “Mind if I talk to your horse?” continues the cowboy. “Horse no talk,” states the Native American. “We’ll see,” says the cowboy. “Hey horse, how’s it going?” “Good,” smiles the nag. “And how does your owner treat you?” “Pretty good,” says the horse. “He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me.” “Good, mind if I talk to your sheep?” asks the cowboy. “Sheep liar,” snaps the Indian. (Het jy enige goeie/stoute grappe om te deel? Stuur hom nou!)
Njammies
Aug 26th
As Suid-Afrikaner het ek ‘n liefde vir ‘n lekker stuk biltong, semi-droog met ‘n bietjie vet. Die koljander máák die biltong. Tóg kan ander nasies van die wêreld nie verstaan waarom enige regdenkende mens gedroogde vleis sal eet nie. Dit gaan jou nie keer om te smul aan jou biltong nie, nê?
Suid-Afrika is nie die enigste land met “vreemde” smulhappies nie. In Europa eet die Jode hoender vet, dit word schmaltz genoem. Viëtnam is bekend dat hulle skerpioene eet, blykbaar sien hulle dit as niks vreemd nie. Sommiges sê dit is soos om kreef te eet.
Aan die ander kant van die aardbol eet die Nieu-Seelanders huhu, dit is larwes. Dit is seker nie so vreemd nie, as jy in ag neem dat sommige Suid-Afrikaners mopanie-wurms eet. Ek het onder weg na Phalaborwa vroue met skottels gesien, besig om wurmpies te “pluk” uit bome. Hierdie gekleurde wurmpie is byna te mooi om te eet. Besef die mense nie dat dit goggatjies is nie? Die mense wat in die Fillepyne bly is behoorlik mallerig, hulle eet gebraaide krieke as “bar snacks”, goeie genugtig! Volgende keer as jy ‘n kriekie sien, vang dit, dit kan vanaand se TV-happie word.
Mopanie Wurmpie
Single ladies
Aug 26th
Is jy eensaam? Gatvol vir masturbasie? Traai dié versameling chat-up lines. Wie weet, dalk kry jy daai girl. Of ‘n PK.
- Babe, your eyes are like spanners. When you look at me, hey, my nuts tighten.
- If I’m a pain in your ass, we can just add more lube. Maklik.
- If you were a hamburger, you’d be a McGorgeous. (Fokken lame)
- If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
- Your name must be Daisy, cause I’d like to plant you right here.
- Excuse me, are you in heat?
- Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
- Do you take it up the ass?
- “Tickle your pussy with a feather?” What?! she’ll ask. I said, “particulary nice weather”. (Dis ‘n wenner, ouens. Pasop vir die klap)
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